Nattering Nabob of Nuttiness

In Response to Salon Article by Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:37:54 GMT

I took exception to the part of the article that said:

Yet big-time stardom eluded her. Her "Drop Dead Gorgeous" costar Kirsten Dunst went on to meaty dramatic roles and a plum place in the "Spiderman" franchise. Angelina Jolie, who tore up the scenery with her in "Girl, Interrupted," walked away with an Oscar and a secure spot atop the A-list. Sure, Kate Hudson and Reese Witherspoon had their share of duds but consistently managed to balance crowd-pleasing comic fare with award-baiting serious work. Why not Murphy, a star as beautiful and talented as any in the lot? Why, when others were walking the red carpet at Cannes, was she toiling in voice work? Bad choices, bad luck, bad timing? Or could it have been something else?

I responded in the letters section:

King of the Hill was my favourite cartoon series of all time. Brittany Murphy's voice on it was essential, as Luanne was an integral part of the Hill family. Her Luanne was certainly not bright but she had a real kindness that was very endearing. She was also poignant because she was abused as a child by her jailbird father and sloppy, alcoholic mother, yet she remained kind and gentle and tried to rise above her trailer park sensibilities. She knew was not bright but knew it. Luanne was also used by unscrupulous businessmen because of her beauty and got into bad dating situations because of it. She was somebody that millions of people could relate to. And I don't see how anybody else could have put herself into that role so deeply and not mean it. There is nobody else who will come close to her good works on King Of The Hill.

This situation is just as it was when Mel Blanc died. There has been nobody who has taken his place as the voice of Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Wile E Coyote Yosemite Sam and Pepe Le Pew. Nobody will ever take the place of Brittany Murphy as Luanne.

I really dislike all those pundits who claim that the didn't realize her potential. She did just fine in King of the Hill and I think this will be remembered as her finest work, her most authentic work. Her art. Work that was definitely her. 13 seasons of authentic work where she could be herself is not a bad bargain. Please be more kind to her in the future.

Oral Roberts

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 23:02:42 GMT

I guess his credit ran out with God. He called him home.

Fricking Hilarious Video.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:21:47 GMT

I just stumbled upon these videos while I was looking for the songwriter for "I'm A Wigga. (it's BloodyFetus, not Weird Al, as many think)

Here are the lyrics to "I'm a Wigga" I wear fake gold to make up for my little cock
got my rag on backwards so I look just like 2pac
with my cap tilted cause im trying to hide the fact that im from maine
but I represent the south side
got a bb gun that looks just like a Mac 10
if I shot your bitch it might not even break the skin
I wear my jeans so low you can see my booty crack
got chrome painted rims on my 86'pontiac with fuzzy dice
in a rigged up black/white
my curfew's at 10 but I stay out till midnight
sitting' in my ride puffin bennys from my one hitter
can't smoke at home cause ill get caught by my baby sitter
I wanna be black but with my mustache I look Mexican
I learned how to spit rhymes from reading green eggs and ham
I talk plenty shit so that must make me hard
I did a 2 day stretch for stealing at Wall-Mart
im a wigga so go figure im just a white boy that wants to be a nigga
don’t forget the dew rag take me to the tanning booth
got a little bling bling next week im getting a gold tooth
calling up some honeys they only give me pussy cause I say I got the money
none of my hoes are over 13 'cause to 2 of these little tricks my dick looks humongous
I live my mamma's basement and im almost 23
other than that there’s nothing going for me
never had a hard day in my life you see except when I took my mother fucking g.e.d.
I aint a gangster bitch im just a prankster bitch and if you step to me I run just like a bitch
I run just far enough to where you cant catch me
peel out in my ride and call you pussy
but living in the suburbs im the toughest on my block
and every little hoe is riding all up on my jock
not packing too much meat so I stuff it with a sock
remember the first line yeah I said I had a little cock
im a wigga so go figure im just a white boy that wants to be a nigga
my closets full of Fubu sipping on the 40's
my name is really Carl but you can call me shorty
when you see me strutting down the street walking with a limp
its not because im hard its cause I got my ass kicked by a bunch of real G's
they beat my ass and shanked me with a knife
for trying to be down and claim in ghetto life
it'll all catch up to you in the end some day
you'll be alone and ill be with all my friends and we'll kick your ass
yeah we'll beat you down mother fucker
don’t make me act a clown I ain't in a gang
but I can talk the slang I know the Ebonics hand book like it aint no thang
so I must be real yo I listen to mc hammer
and im down with my new dough so that pretty much how the story goes
im the suburban gangster that fucks 12 year olds
just a skinny honky that tries to act tough
but i'm the first to back down if you call my bluff
im a wigga so go figure im just a white boy that wants to be a nigga
smoking token stank weed
wear a pick in my hair
stomping in my air force 1's but cant afford 2 pair

Oh, and here is the funny video: My apologies if you have seen this:

A Renaissance of Music?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:31:57 GMT

Why is it that economic downturns always seem to result in huge influxes of good music?

I'm very impressed by such bands & singles, such as

Owl City: Fireflies
K'Naan: Waving Flags
Timbaland: Luv 2 Luv U
IYAZ: Replay
Shakira: She Wolf
MGMT: Time to Pretend
Jedi Mind Tricks: Freedom of Speech
Stereos: Throw Ya Hands Up
Faber Drive: Get Up & Dance
Jason Derulo: Whatcha Say?

These are a few that I'm very impressed by. Are you the Itunes addict that I am? Heh, heh.

How about you? Any new music that impresses you?
What songs are they?

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:01:12 GMT

All my American friends and compatriots.

I miss you.

Eat a plate of goodies for me. Especially the Pumpkin pie with real whipped cream that totally covers the pie from top to bottom.

MEEP! The New Cry Of Freedom!!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:54:36 GMT

Okay. Is it that broken at the Danvers school system Massachusetts that they have to trample on the First Amendment?

"Danvers High School in Massachusetts has banned students from saying the word "meep." Officials say students use the word, which was popularized on The Muppet Show and has no meaning, to disrupt school. Attorney Theodora Michaels says that after reading about the ban, she sent school officials an e-mail reading simply "Meep." She says they responded by reporting her to the police. "

Seriously. Click this link:

http://reason.com/brickbat

You HAVE to read the comments section. They are priceless.

MEEP!!

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! This is supposed to be a joke.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:54:41 GMT

I was laughing just this very morning at the thought of Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck running as a team in 2012 only to find out that ol' Sarah and Glenn are contemplating it for real. According to a Newmax snippet found in my trashbin tonight:

By: David A. Patten

It's no secret that former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and Fox News host Glenn Beck share great respect and admiration — so their fans can be forgiven for wondering: Is a "dream ticket" of Palin-Beck ticket completely out of the question?

Perhaps not.

Palin initially chuckled when Newsmax broached the idea. But then she had some serious words of praise for the popular Fox personality.

"I can envision a couple of different combinations, if ever I were to be in a position to really even seriously consider running for anything in the future, and I'm not there yet," Palin tells Newsmax. "But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He's a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he's so bold — I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he's very, very, very effective."

•••••Loud sound of heading banging on wall.•••••

On A Happier Note…

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:27:40 GMT

So… as I am typing this I have two cockatiels on my shoulder. One, Homer (er, female) stretches out her neck to bundle with my cheek. I turn and kiss her on the head. She nibbles my nose as a kiss back. What is it about birds that make you want to kiss them? Every bird owner I have met kisses their birds.

I remember one mascot cockatiel in a pet store in Indianapolis constantly had lipstick marks all over his head. Everytime the owner passed by, she kissed him again. They must have bred Super Cockatiels there because they were the size of small pigeons. Anybody else hear of Super Cockatiels? I have never seen such big cockatiels in my life.

We have 31 birds. Some are super cuddly, some are attack birds and cannot be approached without very thick gloves. (A couple of these unfortunates are rescue birds who just haven't gotten over the trauma yet.) One of the rescue birds, Cheeky is very kissable. He likes his feet to be tickled and he loves to play in between my fingers. That is, he goes to my hand and squeezes himself in between my fingers. I only had one other bird who did that, a Stella's Lorikeet named Ringo.

Okay, all you bird owners. Admit it. You like to kiss your birds, don't you?

Saw the New Star Trek Movie.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:09:27 GMT

Patently. Awful. If I wanted to see Star Wars, I would watch Star Wars. The reason I liked Star Trek is that it was always more cerebral than Star Wars. Why did the Nero character look like a reject from the Pirates of the Carebbean set? Where is the undertone of Humanism that was Gene Roddenberry's touch?

What was the ladder climbing scene from some brewery in aid of?

Why did the small ship flying scene look like it came from Star Wars VI? All it was missing was "Red leader standing by." At least UP had the good sense to acknowledge the homage at the end of the move.

Every die hard Star Trek fan knows that the ship building capital is in San Francisco, not Iowa.

Spock and Uhura?! I don't THINK so.

Don't get me started on the stupid drill from the "Romulan" ship scene. (The Romulan ship looked like an Alien from Aliens standing on end) Oh, yeah, tell me again how a drill that has to measure about 120.000 feet is going to be able to drill into a planet travelling 22,000 miles an hour. How are they going to geosynchronise it?

People being able to make a orbital dive and not burn up in the stratosphere? Where is the SCIENCE in this thing?

Are the reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes retarded, fucktarded or just that bought off to give this piece of SHITE an 89% on the Tomatometer?!

Vote on the best video for counteracting the mediscare tactics

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:57:46 GMT

Here is one that I thought was very effective. Because it's true.

http://my.barackobama.com/hrvcrating?v=tWKici6hOhw

Yes, We've had H1N1, No, it Wasn't That Bad

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:07:16 GMT

Thank you, Media for all your fearmongering. You created a continent wide panic for no good reason. People are waiting in line 24 hours a day to get a vaccine and being turned away because they are not one of the group most vulnerable: pregnant women, asthmatics, children under 5.

I am an asthmatic and I didn't wait in line for the vaccine. Why? We already had it. This is why I was so quiet on my journal this past month. It hit us. First in my head, sinuses and lungs, then it swooped around a second time and hit me in the intestines. It hit Ron hard in the lungs, but he is recovering and has not had to miss a day of work. And Alex blew it off in 2 days.

Why am I not panicking? Aside from missing a half of a shift, it was NOT THAT BAD!!! I mostly rested in the easy chair, eating light foods, lots of apples, oranges, blueberries (I recommend frozen blueberries—they are superfoods with lots of antioxidant and stuffed to the hilt with Vitamin C.)

See it's our present trend of over panicking and running to the doctor and overdoing it with the Tamiflu (do not take that unless you have the flu. Do not take it as a preemptive.) and disinfectants antibiotics that is going to produce a super virus. A drug resistant virus.

WE must let our natural immune systems handle this one. 1300 hundred people in the U.S. have died but this is out of 300,000,000 million people. A normal flu bug carries off 20,000 people annually.

Now the media, realizing the monster they have created by causing a stampede to the clinics, are trying to get people to settle down and emphasize only the most vulnerable can be taken care of. In Canada, they are turning away more people than they are treating. In the U.S. with the shrill CNN, I can't imagine.

What is it like there? Are the lines a disaster pit? Is it true some people are getting into fist fights there?

But please. Please: Don't Panic!!!

Trolls

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:52:13 GMT

I thought this was a good post from Seth Godin's blog, so I am passing it along.

Trolls

Lots of things about work are hard. Dealing with trolls is one of them. Trolls are critics who gain perverse pleasure in relentlessly tearing you and your ideas down. Here's the thing(s):

1. trolls will always be trolling
2. critics rarely create
3. they live in a tiny echo chamber, ignored by everyone except the trolled and the other trolls
4. professionals (that's you) get paid to ignore them. It's part of your job.

"Can't please everyone," isn't just an aphorism, it's the secret of being remarkable.

I think Glenn Beck is nothing but a Troll on TV.

Glenn Beck's continued Insanity

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:56:19 GMT

Does this video make any sense to any of you? I watched it several times and I still don't get what he's after?
What is it? Pure insanity or gaslighting. What do you think?

New Drug Czar, Same as the Old One

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:55:28 GMT

Pain patients in the U.S. should get used to the fact that your medicines are going to be further scrutinized, thanks to the high profile death of Michael Jackson and Rush Limbaugh's famous addiction to Oxycontin.

Thanks guys, thanks for making it so much harder to get effective pain relief in America.

Home of diminishing freedoms.

President Obama wants to encourage police interference with pain doctors' ability to prescribe.

I'm glad we don't live there anymore.

Ku Klux Klowns

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:31:44 GMT

I don't know why the video that I posted yesterday was deemed "private only" but the gist of it was this:

There were about 60,000 members of protesters, many of whom did not have any idea of what they were protesting about.

Their march was ugly, ignorant and in many cases racist and creedist as hell.

Of course many of them made a big deal out of his middle name: "Hussein."

There were many placards that showed him with a Hitler mustache.

Many signs called him a Nazi and a communist, apparently completely clueless that the Nazis hated communists and executed them.

Many signs were misspelled.

Many people had no idea what they were really protesting about.

There was a few signs that were deeply racist.

There are disturbing signs that the "unworthy" that should not be insured are black and Hispanic people. Ask them right out and they will deny it but they parrot the same things said during the Reagan Administration when Reagan dredged up the ol' black welfare queen. Then the Reagan administration hammered the idea into people's heads that welfare queens deliberately have more babies to get more money, that they drive cadillacs while raking in the dough.

The same things were said in 2009. "I don't want my tax dollars to pay for some welfare queen to have more babies."

Very disturbing stuff. Keep tuned but we now have what these people are: the Ku Klux Klowns.

Tea Baggers and Glenn Beck Supporters

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:35:52 GMT

Joke Of The Day

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:31:33 GMT

So I was reading a Washington Post article and I see this section on religion. Any of you Facebook users answer the question on Religion? I left that blank. But this one poster replied with something I thought was funny:

militant agnostic - I don't know and you don't either!

Michael Jackson's Ghost

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:47:54 GMT

Neverland is apparently haunted by MJ's ghost. At least that's what Larry King reported. It could be true, who knows? But I find this "ghost story" much funnier:

I Can't Help It. This One Was Just Too Funny.

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:14:05 GMT

These days I delete these 419 type scams daily. Most of them I give a cursory glance, nothing more. Once in a while, though, I come across one that is just too funny. I left all the spelling, lack of spacing, punctiation, inappropriat small caps and just plain bad English intact in this letter. I did not change a single thing about it.

From: mercelgissio161@msn.com
Subject: From Mr.Mercel Gissio,
Date: August 7, 2009 11:30:17 AM GMT-04:00

Reply-To: mercelgissio@gmail.com

From Mr.Mercel Gissio,
Drirector,contracts and manpower development,
Ivory Coast Ports Authority.
Abidjan,Republic of Ivory Coast.
EMAIL; mercelgissio@gmail.com

Confidential/Top Secret.

Sir,

I am Mercel Gissio of the above mentioned office,i got your contact from the internet during my search for one to trust and decides to share mutual busines idea that has been in existence for two years now.
A certain american contractor named Jack Molley of Molleys associates based in Texas won and executed a contract worth $13.5 million united states dollars which was simply installations of LIFTING DEVICES and CRANES in our port to change the old worn out and out-dated type that was in use which became ineffective.

This contract which was awareded by Ivory Coast Government through my office have been paid for but due to the time it took government to clear the debt with Molleys associates of texas,the contract acrued some fees which the contractor is not aware of.This lapses or the red-tape approach in government offices to disburse payment in time,i used my office and position to over-influence this contract to the tone of $3.8 million united states,what i want is for you to come in and act as partner to Jack molley to claim this over-influenced sum as i will provide you with neccessary guidelines needed.
Based on this,send to me the following;

1. Your full name and address.
2. Your company's proforma invoice.
3. 4 blank sheets of your company letter headed-paper.
4. Your id---like drivers license or international passport.
5. Company name and address.
6. Company's banking details in totality.

With these information as demanded,i will approach the ministry of finance and economic planning,office of budget at the presidency and ports authority for approval on your behalf or that of your company.
After these approvals has been granted by appropriet offices,the central bank of ivory coast will have no option than to release and wire this $3.8 million united states dollars into your nominated bank account.
For using your account,i will share this over-influenced contract sum with you on the basis of 50/40% and 10% will cover all fees to be spent in the execution of this said arrangement.

When you respond,i will give you the contact of the department of planning and execution where you send all paper work and correspondences so that i will not be involved directly as i will be giving you clues and all the information needed to actualize this.
This transaction is risk-free once you take instructions from me.
Thanking you in anticipation for your understanding.
Yours sincerely,

Mercel Gissio
Director,contracts and manpower development
Ivory Coast Ports authority(ICPA)

Beware of any return address that says "inmail"

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:54:58 GMT

Terry Ferguson Chambers
(170 Canary Wharf London,United Kingdom,W4 5RY)

Hello My Good Friend,

I apologize if the contents of this email is contrary to your moral ethics. I humbly solicit your immediate assistance. Though this mail may come to you as a surprise, due to the high level of crime emanating from the internet. But please treat with absolute secrecy and personal. I know we have not met before, but with trust and honesty we can work this project out.

Let me start by introducing myself,I am Mr.Terry Ferguson,Attorney to your late uncle whom was my client when he was alive.Before his death,he use to tell me about his relations in the Eastern Europe and United States of America.

Ever since he died in September 1999 have been trying to contact you or any other relations of his who will stand as his next of kin to inherit his $10million fixed deposit he made with a security company here in the United kingdom. The finance house has called me several times this year to come up with the details of my late client next of kin because the term of the fix deposit elapsed in January 2009.

The finance house wants to know if the next of kin will want to roll the fixed deposit for another 10years or make the withdrawal immediately, so they have ask me to come up with my late client next of kin details.

I made alot of research before i was able to get your information,I will want you to let me know if you would want to roll the deposit over for the next 10years or make the withdrawal immediately.

Please get back to me as soon as possible with your information as place below.

1. Full Names
2. Present Occupation
3. Age
4. Contact Address
5. Any of your proof Identification
6. Phone and Fax number

As soon as I get this information from you I will start preparing all legal documents that we are going to use for the application.Also I will disclose your Uncle detail to you once i verify your information that you are the rightful person am look for.

Hope to read from you soon.
Thanks,
Terry Ferguson(Esq).

Food For Thought

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:52:06 GMT

This is why I put one foot in spirituality:

This quote I heard yesterday:

If you talk to God, you're praying.
If God talks to you, you're a schizophrenic.

Damn good point.

Religulous Review

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:07:44 GMT

I'm spiritual and agnostic at the same time. I've seen and encountered otherworldly things that can't be explained away easily. I believe that we all have the ability to connect.

But…I become agnostic when I encounter the damage the monotheistic religions have done to the world and the sheer insanity of some evangelicals. And I don't like middlemen in general. They remind me of the RIAA. They take your money and you do all the praying. How's that supposed to be a benefit to you?

A Great example of that sort of evangelical huckstering Robert Tilton, Mr. "make a thousand dollar vow." He was discredited in 1991 when it was exposed that he threw away the prayer cards without reading them. Plus there was that pesky spoon up his nose. You can actually see him sweat on camera!

h

He was mentioned in Religulous, a DVD I rented by comedian turned to investigative reporter Bill Maher, and let me tell you, if you are sitting on the fence about religion, this will push you over to the sceptic's side too.

John Wescott is interviewed, a guy who believes in curing homosexuality, which was a funny bit.
And Maher actually gets inside the Vatican only to be kicked out.
He's not easy on the Scientologists either.

Beware of that evil lord Xenu.

Thanks for the great response on Yendie! She's going to appear as a webcomic on this blog to start. I'm still scripting.

This Just in!

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:46:23 GMT

19 years ago I created Yendie Wildcritter. She was dubbed the "Little Monster With An Attitude. Many people have been asking about her, so I decided to do something about it. Now she's updated and refurbished with same attitude and more fashion sense and sex appeal and coming soon as a web cartoon.

So here she is!

This scam spam was too funny to pass up

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:35:19 GMT

There has been a real dearth of funny scam spams lately, but this one was so badly spelled and executed, I just can't resist.

(H A P) 2010 WORLD CUP EVENT SA (2010) ORGANISING COMITTEE

(HOUSING AUTHORITY PROMOTIONS)

From, the coordinator,

Real estate and property developers,

Messers, Bright O?Brien &co,

Floor 4,times square, theartre building

Johannesburg.

The above subsidiary has deemed it necessary in promoting the

aforementioned event taking place in SOUTH AFRICA (2010).

An official gazette was issued after due consultation, to carry out

awareness campaign in attracting people, (visitors, investors) and

otherwise to our great country, SOUTH AFRICA, prior to the soccer fiesta

2010.

In accordance with regulatory ACTS. A format was issued enabling

us promote the event, inview of these we decided to dish out winning

prizes ranging from, HOUSES, CARS, LCD TV, FRIDGES, MOTORBIKES, BALL?S

and T-SHIRTH'S with MANDELA'S picture inscribed on it. A ballot via

Internet directory was selected to carry out these, HITHERTO...

CONGRATULATION (S) as in reciept of this mail...you've won a

luxirius HOME in SOUTH AFRICA, valued at $5.7us dollars. GOD BLESSED YOU.

NOTE-All valuable documents, and the location of the luxirius home

will be forwarded to you, as soon in reciept of your-NAMES, CONTACT

ADRESS AND DIRECT TEL-LINE.

Meanwhile, in avoiding Internet fraudsters, hackers. Your winning

number, keys and valuable documents has been deposited in a coperate

bank, FNB.SOUTH AFRICA......

Please duly contact your temporal estate agent alotted to your

property, WILLIAM NICHOLE &co, with the following details/intention for

clarifications......

Do you wish coming to South Africa to see your new home and resident

here?

Do you wish collecting the house value in cash. $5.7million us dollars?

Do you require an ATTORNEY (legal practictioner) here in South Africa to

handling all options, pending upon in reciept of your home or cash?

Please do contact your temporal Estate Agent via our gazetted e-mail:

william.nichole@gmail.com
Tel: +27 786 926 074

Note your names and picture will be published in major networks

internationally CNN'BBC'TIME MAGAZINE ETC as our objectives is to

advertise this great fiesta...

Prior to contacting your Estate Agent its advised you keep all

information secrete pending upon IN reciept of your DATA NUMBER.

WELLCOME TO OUR GREAT NATION SA

BEST REGARDS&CONGRATULATION (S)

BRIGHT O'BRIME...
chief coordinator

Haven't Seen the New Star Trek Movie

Thu, 14 May 2009 00:12:52 GMT

But I was puttering around YouTube and I came across this gruesome twosome. Who out there is a Star Trek:Deep Space Nine fan? I am and my favourite captain is Captain Sisko, who was too long ignored.

Among you fans remember the repellant relationship between a disguised Gul Dukat and Kai Winn? Ugh: (oh, and the sound is down because of some severe corporate puckerbuttery)

By the way, the actress who played the Kai also played Nurse Ratchet in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Yesh.

And is it just me or are there a lot of Weyoun fans out there?